August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: 2020 Vision (with Hope and Fear)

Instead, we are planning for a child to come home in early July, but also taking it day by day. We have chosen a completely new […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Onto Plan C? Plan D?

Every time I start to plan or talk about our little LL Cool T arriving in the world, or even scarier, coming home, there is excitement […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Support and Connection from Afar

Plus, and this is probably truly the worst part, it shows us that once again, we cannot control well, anything, or at least most things, a […]
August 11, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Half Fear, Half Bliss

Yes, 20 weeks is halfway through a pregnancy and that is exciting. But, since the last 19 weeks feel like it has been a year, and […]
August 11, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Relief and Joy…Then Panic and Blame

I cried about how the doctor had confirmed my biggest fear—that all of this was, in fact, my fault, that it was my stupid body that […]
August 11, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Get Me Off This Rollercoaster!

When you lose a child, it is not just the loss of the child as he or she is, but the loss of the future, of […]
August 4, 2021

Simplified: Breastfeeding and Pumping: A Journey in Life, Loss, Pain, and Trauma

As the pumping sessions went on, I felt like a failure, a fraud. Not only had I not carried this child, but now I could not […]
July 23, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Longing for Normalcy

Nothing about pregnancy after loss is normal. It is not normal to hold your breath every ultrasound, every heartbeat check, to spend most of the pregnancy […]
July 20, 2021

Parenting After Loss: One Onesie, Many Emotions

While it felt like such a victory to be in that place, to see our little guy wearing the physical remembrance of our dreams, of our […]

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