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Friday Five: Five Considerations When Choosing a Guardian for Your Children

Who Makes a Good Guardian?

There is no question that having children changes everything - and estate planning is no exception. If you and your spouse pass away or become legally incapacitated, and arrangements were never made in the event of such an emergency, your minor child or children will have to be placed with a new family. Not surprisingly, such a drastic change can be a disruptive process for minor children - even if they are placed with members of your family. If you choose a guardian for your child in your will or other estate plan documents this difficult time can go much more smoothly.

A guardian for your minor child “steps into” your shoes in the event you can no longer care for him or her. No one wants this to happen, but when a parent becomes incapacitated or dies, the minor child left behind will need care. Because a guardian plays such an important role in your family’s life, there are several factors to consider when choosing someone to take on this role.

Shared Values

It is best to choose someone who has a common level of religious belief. For example, if you are not the religious type you may have objections to someone who would expect your child to join and regularly attend church.

Parenting Style

Whether you run a tight ship at home or prefer a laissez-faire approach to raise children, choosing someone who will continue in your style is likely the best fit.


Someone who travels all the time will not be able to regularly show up to your kids’ soccer games, gymnastics meets, band concerts, and live theater performances - an important part of being a guardian to your children.

Energy Level

Having the stamina to be able to keep up with your child - especially during the younger years - is an important factor.

Other Children

While a potential guardian who already has children should not be a deal-breaker, you should consider how adding more children into the family will affect the dynamic, particularly when it comes to the ages of the kids.

Other Factors to Consider

In the same manner that you can choose different individuals to manage the estate’s finances and your minor children’s day-to-day needs, you can also choose more than one guardian for your kids. You may want to assign one guardian per child, depending on your family’s circumstances. That being said, setting up guardianship this way may result in your children being separated from one another, which is usually not a good outcome. Choosing someone who has the resources to care for your children - even if you have left money behind for their care - should also be a factor to consider. Finally, choosing someone who is young enough to be able to care for your child through his or her adulthood, as well as someone who is in good enough health to withstand the challenges of raising a child, are important factors that should be taken into account. Once you have made a decision on who will be your child’s guardian, contact me. We can draft the documents you need in order to make this legally binding, as well as create an estate plan that suits your family's needs and will protect your loved ones in the event you are no longer able to do so yourself.

Meet Patricia De Fonte

Patricia De Fonte, JD, LLM, is the founder of De Fonte Law PC, where she and her team practice Estate Planning with Heart™. De Fonte Law PC works remotely with clients throughout California. Patricia believes that her role as counselor and connector is as important as her role as an attorney, and she helps every client fully utilize their team of advisors, ensure each client complete a full insurance audit, and invites financial advisors to attend funding meetings.

Patricia was born in San Francisco and currently lives there with her husband and their two children. Her pronouns are she/her and her hashtags are #estateplanning, #estateplanningwithheart, #loveanddeathandtaxes.

Patricia is also a published author and public speaker. She has also received the Torch Award for Ethics BBB 2021 and the Superlawyer designation in 2021 and 2022.

When Patricia is not working at the firm, you will most likely find her reading the New Yorker in the backyard under a lemon tree, on vacation, watching zombie shows, or spending time with family and friends. She will treat you as one of her own until Cards Against Humanity comes out, then all bets are off!


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