August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Nothing About This is Normal

The OB leaves the room, presumably to talk to someone about the crazy lady who will not just accept that things are going well for this […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: What is Wrong with Me?

Late at night, when my grief wakes me up, the guilt is what actually keeps me awake—the running through every time during the pregnancy that I […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Daydreaming of Time Travel

When Colette was born, whether it was due to my physical recovery, postpartum depression or anxiety, normal fears of being a new mom, fears of having […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Complex Emotions

And there is a peace that comes from realizing that you have very little control in the world and that a lot of life really is […]
August 24, 2021

To the Loss Mom Considering Options Other than Pregnancy

The rest of the world may not always feel the same way, but I am here to tell you that if you are reading this thinking […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Our Journey to Gestational Carrier

I wanted so much to have a child at home, but whenever I pictured myself pregnant, I felt almost frozen in fear. I hated myself for […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Embryo Transfer Day and Signs from Colette

She leaves, I look at the picture, and then all of a sudden, I see it—the sign I needed, something from Colette to let me know […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Will Loss Ever Really End?

I did not expect to feel it so early in the process. I felt like a failure, just like I had felt when I miscarried Sweet […]
August 24, 2021

Expecting But Not Pregnant: Anxiety is Alive and Well

 We also talked about how we knew we had made the right choice with G carrying for us, but how it was also frustrating that she […]

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